#these tags feel really rambly and pointless but i hope someone understands | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mittensmorgul · 4 years ago

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For anyone interested in long-term residence in the supernatural fandom, please have some observations I’ve made over the decade I’ve been here. Take it or leave it as you will, but I’ve found all of this info useful over the years I’ve been here.

I wrote this yesterday, and it achieved its mission of identifying the sort of folks who would react negatively to it (i.e. a lot of block lists have been updated), so now that it’s been edited for content, it’s going under a cut (because that is how we do things on tumblr in general, unless we have a deliberate purpose for annoying readers with excessively long text posts) for the sake of people who actually do care about the fandom and its history. If that’s not you or your reason for being here, then keep on keeping on with your own thing, I guess. For those who are interested, there’s a lot of fandom resources some of us have been building for years that you might enjoy knowing about.

First off, I’ve been informed by a few friends who’ve read through this for coherency’s sake that it sort of reads like a *shakes cane from porch* fandom grandma complaint, but honestly... I earned this rocking chair and goshdangit imma rock now. So apologies for any “back in my day” vibes or faint aroma of tiger balm this post might give off. Then again, it’s loosely based on a similar post from 2012 so like... time is a flat circle anyway I guess.

1. There is no such thing as “tumblr famous,” unless you’re referring to the hilarious and delightful fic of the same name (please go read it, you will cackle). Posting Hot Takes for imaginary Clout™ on this site is kind of pointless in the long run. Sure you can post solely for the sake of stirring shit and getting notes, but the majority of the folks who do aren’t long term residents of the fandom. They’re just tourists moving through our little beach town for spring break. If you’re actually intent on moving to this corner of the fandom for an extended stay, please bother to really feel out the permanent residents and understand the culture and general mood of the neighborhood. It bears no resemblance to whatever’s going on across town where all the bars and beach parities are happening, and those loud, drunken revelers are, again, gonna disappear back to their regular lives or on to the next party eventually. That doesn’t mean the fandom is dying, it’s just evolving.

(funny how I had several comments implying that I’m just trying to keep the fandom from evolving with this post, because I sincerely do want the fandom to continue on for years to come, and that is impossible without evolution. We can evolve without self-immolating, though. mostly i included point 1 for an excuse to push ancient but hilarious fanfic on you.)

2. Once you post something here, it’s been unleashed to the fandom winds. You never know where it will end up, or who will comment on it or add to it. Remember that time Misha tweeted the link to the Epic Cockles Love Story post? No? It was wild. That was 2012. They all know we’re here, and how to find us if they want to. Please don’t take it to their doorsteps.

Obviously if someone is being a dick on your posts, please feel free to block them, but the whole entire point of this site is to engage people with your posts. Being big mad that someone reblogged your post with comments or supporting evidence, or happy headcanons or “HECK THIS IS GREAT BECAUSE (insert personal story about their experience or whatever else made them Feel Things about your post)” is frankly ridiculous. If your goal is to avoid any sort of engagement with your posts, then maybe try instagram instead. From what I understand, there is a SPN fandom presence there, and nobody can tarnish your original posts with unwanted commentary. But the ability to reblog with additional commentary is a FEATURE of tumblr that builds community through conversation. Otherwise we’re all just talking to ourselves in a vacuum, and that’s what actually kills fandoms.

(and for the folks who just want to blog how they want to blog and don’t want people to engage on their posts at all, please feel free to block anyone you want, as well... nobody wants to step on your toes, but most of us also don’t want to walk on eggshells wondering if this post is one of the “do not add comments for any reason” sorts of posts, either. This is a huge fandom and most people can’t even begin to keep track of every creator and their url du jour, and what their personal rules might be regarding interaction with their content. Including a “please don’t add comments” note at the bottom of your posts-- and not in your tags that won’t even show up on reblogs, but in the actual body of the post-- would sincerely help avoid any awkward or unwanted interactions, too. At the end of the day, you are in control of your own fandom experience and the block button exists.

For the record, I block zero fandom blogs (which is why I posted this, I wanted it to reach a wide scope... refer to the opening paragraphs as to why).

3. Since this post was partly inspired by a tag I left on that post going around about how “previous tags” mean fuckall on this site (which you can read here), just a reminder that if you like someone’s tags or feel they add value to the post, part of the Peer Review structure of tumblr encourages you to PASTE THEM INTO A REBLOG. If you do this, then at least credit the person who actually wrote the tags! Don’t just copy someone else’s tags into your tags on your reblog of the post without credit either. They were not YOUR tags. (I have had this happen to tag rambles I wrote and someone else got credited with them on a subsequent reblog and it is FRUSTRATING). Just... don’t even bother to write “previous tags” because WHAT PREVIOUS TAGS?! Nobody is gonna bother to chase back the chain of reblogs trying to find where the mystery tags came from, friendos. That way lies madness.

(for the record, since some folks seemed to focus on this point solely, writing “previous tags” on a post isn’t inherently a BAD thing, but for anyone who actually is here for more than one-off shitposting, then it’s sort of a pointless thing in the long run. This wasn’t intended to suggest people who ARE here for one-off shitposting are bad or “doing it wrong,” but for people who might actually want to preserve that hilarious joke or insightful comment. People delete posts and entire blogs all the time around here. Links break. I get that the upcoming generation just shrugs at that and moves on with their lives, but heck... you don’t have to accept that all entertainment is disposable if you don’t want to. There’s a bizarre sort of nihilism plaguing us all about the impermanence of pretty much everything that feels like something we should be fighting against rather than buying into wholesale, even in our escapist entertainment. I’m just exhausted by the complete loss of joy in community.

*shouts from the peanut gallery* IT AIN’T THAT DEEP, JUST GET SOME FRESH AIR AND LOOK AT A PUPPY OR SOMETHING

Yes... yes it isn’t really that deep, but bigger picture in the state of reality we’re all entirely disillusioned with, are we supposed to just give up on everything, including the things we cling to because they bring us a tiny spark of hope that we’re not all just trapped in this dystopian nightmare and things might actually be worth living for?

*peanut gallery clinging to burnt husks of peanuts in a barren peanut field* but this is how we have chosen to cope

Okay... you do you... I feel bad for you but if that’s the case then this post is NOT FOR YOU. AND THAT’S FINE. I honestly do not care if you don’t care! I mean, I’m sorry anyone has to live in a world that drives them to that mindset, but I understand. This post is for anyone who might look at their lives and their choices and think “no wait, I unironically enjoy this and want more from the experience of that enjoyment than I’m currently feeling.” Everyone else can continue with their lives as usual.)

4. CONTENT THEFT IS NEVER OKAY. PERIOD. Things like “credit to the artist” or tagging gifs or images you found on pinterest as “not mine” isn’t actually credit. If you can’t source an image or gif set, DO NOT POST IT! We don’t REPOST (i.e. save an image and then create a new post with it as if it was our own creation). We REBLOG (click the little square arrows and reblog from the actual creator). That goes for gif sets, fanvids, screencaps, meta, fic... everything.

(hopefully everyone here already understands this one, but I felt compelled to include some “these are stupidly obvious” reminders anyway, since this is ostensibly some sort of advice column. This is the equivalent of the warning label on your toaster reminding you not to use it in the bath. Like... duh...)

5. Close kin of item 4 is SOURCE YOUR SHIT.

(for 100% disclosure purposes, I specifically discussed this one in this specific way because of an influx of anon ask messages I received in the wake of the finale. Literally the inciting incident for creating this entire post was what I can only assume was a joking ask about a comment Misha made at a con years ago. Someone actually bothered to take the time to type out those sentences to me. I have no idea what they were expecting in reply, or what could possibly motivate them to send this comment about something so entirely random from, again, several years ago. Just a joke? No idea, but whatever... it got me thinking that there might actually be people who are new to the fandom who MIGHT actually care about the fandom history, and maybe they just don’t know where to go for that info, or how to even begin searching through 16 years of history for things they might actually find enjoyment in, rather than just hauling random out of context garbage out on main and pointing and laughing about it now. People are actually allowed to care about things. It’s not cringeworthy to actually care about things, and you are not alone in actually caring, and there’s this whole big room over here full of people who are thrilled to share in that with you. This post is intended FOR THOSE PEOPLE SPECIFICALLY, so if that is not you, please just continue walking by.)

Yes, I know lots of y’all are new around here right now, but dredging up stuff from years ago that fandom has completely debunked and presenting it as TRU FAX again is just exhausting. We’re not trying to be party poopers, but seriously, we have seen it all and are mostly done with extinguishing bags of flaming dog poop on our front porches for the umpteenth year in a row. I’ve seen a lot of posts that have the same tone as “I saw Goody Proctor dancing with the devil” or “I heard kylo ren has an eight pack” and just... the information is there for anyone who cares enough to find it.

This goes double for “why is nobody talking about this thing I just discovered while watching the show for the first time?!” And, oh hon, we have talked it all into the ground over the last fifteen years. We’re happy you’re discovering it again, but I promise we talked about it plenty when the episodes originally aired. We have such a rich meta history that lots of us have worked really hard to preserve. I encourage you to seek it out, if nothing else than as historical artifacts. The way we have discussed the show has been a 16-year evolution. People have written literal doctoral dissertations on this show. Your shitposts are fun! We love reliving our own experience through fresh eyes, and seeing your wonder at experiencing it all again for the first time! But y’all didn’t invent this fandom in the last six months, either.

Meta Sources and Minerals provided by our friendly neighborhood fandom archivist, @lets-steal-an-archive

Academic books and articles about SPN

A collection of Meta Essays going back to s1 and organized by topic (all of this has happened before, all of it will happen again)

SPN Heavy Meta Archive (s1-3)

Mel’s Dreamwidth archive of meta (s1-12)

Oranges8hands Dreamwidth archive of meta (s1-15, with many similar entries to Mel’s... though ymmv on viewpoint in a lot of these too)

Anyone remember Fandom Wank? Not the concept but the actual LJ... No? Okay have a link to SPN topics that ended up there. Through 2013. We have seen so much... including several fandom containment breaches.

for all your art sourcing needs, please see @theroadsofararchive, the repository for so much fandom art.

need to find a gif of something? canonspngifs is a vast repository of gifsets of the entire series. If the gif you want to use in your post happens to be the first gif in the gifset, in the tumblr gif finder thingy just paste the permalink to that post from canonspngifs (which is easily searchable by episode, character, location, situation, quotes, and sometimes even color and clothing items the actors are wearing... it’s really well organized, especially for tumblr >.>) and the first gif will be automatically linked with credit to the gif creator attached. It makes life easy that way. It’s also convenient when trying to remember something specific but can’t remember what episode it’s from. I’ve used the site to jog my memory before going to the superwiki armed with more specific search results to find episode quotes and references. Or sometimes I just scroll through all the nice gifs for fun, too.

Need a screencap of something and know exactly which episode it’s from? Try Home of the Nutty. You might not find the exact screencap you’re looking for, but they have a complete set of caps of every episode, and it’s an incredibly useful resource for quick reference checks and the like. Just give pages a chance to fully load before clicking on the next one. The site is easily overloaded, but it’s still free to use (and again, with credit... Pretty much every screencap on my entire blog is from HotN unless otherwise credited).

As you can see, this is a fandom built on preserving our history. You absolutely are not required to engage with any of this if that’s not of interest to you, but I can only assume that there are people who would be interested in it if only they knew it existed and how to find it. Well, now they do.

6. A few more notes on tags, and how they work on tumblr. The first 20 tags on your ORIGINAL posts are searchable sitewide, so if you want to be able to find something again, tag that thing first before going on general tag rambles. The only place tags on reblogs are searchable is on your own blog. So you don’t have to put 50 tags trying to get a post seen if it’s a reblog. You’re just spitting into the wind at that point. If you have a filing system for finding things again, then by all means add those tags (again, in the first 20, so they’re searchable), but you don’t need to tag a reblog “destiel” and “deancas” and “dean” and “cas” and “dean x cas” or whatever. Pick one for your personal blog’s filing system, that’s all you need.

(this was only added because tagging and searching on this site is so very broken... I get that a lot of folks don’t care about ever searching their own blogs again for anything, so this one only really applies if you do often find yourself trying to find old posts. If not, then it’s not really relevant. It took me years to work out a decent tagging system, and at the beginning of my time here I never thought I’d end up camping out here for a decade and falling this deep into the fandom, and I regretted my lack of consistent tags only years later when I realized I actually wanted to be able to go back and find specific old posts again. So... for anyone who wants to err on the side of caution, working out a sensible tagging system really helps if you’re here for the long term. I personally tag content by episode, because some of my other general tags are so large as to be practically useless as a search term. But whatever system you choose to file stuff on your own blog, it really only has to make sense to you. And again, if this is pointless advice for someone who has no intention of settling here for the long term. Please feel free to ignore it. I just wish someone had explained it this way to me ten years ago and saved me the hassle of retroactively tagging something like 30k posts... especially now that using the mass tag replacer is the fastest way to get your entire blog deleted... oops? so yeah, don’t use the mass tag replacer either >.>)

7. Tags on Tumblr DO NOT WORK LIKE TAGS ON TWITTER. If you @ someone in the body of the post, it will show up in their notifications (if they’re the sort of person who even checks their notifications... not all of us do. For the record, I generally don’t...), but putting actor or ship names in the tags on a tumblr post does absolutely nothing. It’s not the same as tagging the actor’s twitter account in a tweet. Nobody’s getting notifications about you tagging a post about Jensen here as “Jensen Ackles.” There is a difference. Please learn it. (and don’t take headcanons and ESPECIALLY RPF or otherwise explicit art or fic from tumblr to twitter and tag the actors in it. That’s just... not okay.)

(I have seen the pearl clutchers getting all in a huff about the mere existence of RPF or even explicit content of fictional characters if it doesn’t meet their purity standards, but tagging those things allows people who don’t want to see it to actively avoid that content here. Nobody has a right to tell people their fictional content shouldn’t exist at all, or that creators of that fictional content somehow deserve harassment or threats for having dared to create such “immoral” content, won’t somebody PLEASE think of the children... and no... you do not do that here. Don’t be the problematic behavior you wish to ban from the world. Learn to use tags to protect yourself from, as i have attempted to emphasize here, fictional content you are personally upset by. That’s a you problem, not a problem for the creators of potentially upsetting content that they tag appropriately for.)

8. General formatting stuff: If you’re writing long text posts, visually break them up so people aren’t faced with one long wall of text. The enter key is your friend. Also, if you put long text posts under a Read More break and send people to your blog to finish reading, please ensure that your blog is actually visually accessible (tiny text, or light grey text on a dark grey background, or a visually busy background might be aesthetically pleasing to you but nobody can actually read it. Loads of folks won’t even try. Which is great if you don’t actually care whether people are able to appreciate your content or not, but something to at least consider if you *do* actively want to encourage engagement with your work. Confirm how your blog looks on both mobile and desktop and make sure it’s actually functional in both, too).

And since I mentioned that most of my experience on fandom tumblr has been in the SPN fandom, here’s a bit of a reminder for folks who are new around here. With the reminder that I have been here more than a decade and still feel like a newbie myself sometimes...

This is an OLD FANDOM. There are many, many people who have been at this longer than some of you have been alive. The average age for creators in this fandom is older than you think (I think of my friends in their 30′s as young’ins okay? okay). With that understood, you are responsible for the content you consume and are exposed to. Curate your experience. Ship and let ship. YKINMKATOK. Don’t deliberately expose yourself to content you find upsetting for whatever reason. Tags and warnings are your friends, not targets for you to attack in some sort of purity war. People will ship things you do not like (or in specific ways you do not like), will say things you do not agree with, and will find their happiness in things you abhor. That is not your concern. Find what you do like, and support and engage with it, and ignore (or block, or unfollow) the rest. Tumblr has a feature that lets you blacklist tags so the content you’re trying to avoid won’t appear on your dash.

Remember the paradox of tolerance.

It is not your job in fandom to police how other people enjoy the fandom. It’s not *my* job to police how *you* enjoy the fandom, UNLESS your enjoyment is in actively harming other real human beings in the fandom. If you don’t like their take on the character or the show or the plotlines or their ships or anything else, you don’t need to engage with their posts at all! The necessary corollary to this is that clarifying misunderstandings or correcting factual misinformation is not “policing.”

(this is where the peanut gallery reminds me it ain’t that deep, and I plead with them to put down the social media and find just one (1) thing to actually believe in in this godforsaken life, find something other than disdain and cynicism and spite to live for. If those things motivate you to find a larger cause for yourself, then great, use them to your advantage, but use them to find something that makes you a better person or brings you a modicum of joy and connection to your fellow human beings despite living in a dystopian hellscape of a world)

I have seen a lot of posts lately that are founded on the sort of authority that comes with “I watched through tumblr for a few months and then watched the last three episodes of the series” and as such are just... missing the larger context of the entire show, and are unfounded entirely in canon. I 100% appreciate the new enthusiasm for the fandom that we’ve been living in here for years, and it’s wonderful to see new people enjoying the thing we love. Your headcanons are valid, you are valid, but recognize that your headcanons aren’t canon. All of us finale denialists have accepted this in some measure, so we feel you. We truly, truly feel you. But regarding actual canon, we have a resource for that: the Superwiki. Learn it, live it, love it, as Metatron would say.

(which you could discover he said in 10.17 Inside Man, thanks to the superwiki! accept no substitutes!)

(and again, there have been people who have been involved in fandom for years who haven’t engaged with canon in years, either! You can play in this universe however you choose, BUT FOR PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT CANON AT ALL, WHICH I AM AGAIN POINTEDLY SAYING MIGHT NOT BE YOU, READER, AND I’M NOT SUGGESTING YOU ARE WRONG FOR NOT WANTING TO ACTUALLY ENGAGE WITH CANON, but if you DO want to engage with canon, please have some useful resources. Why do people feel personally attacked by being presented a list of helpful resources? Absolutely baffling.)

(also: words have definitions. “Canon” is a specific thing, meaning in this case “the finished media product that aired on television.” Anything beyond those limits is secondary canon (think: john’s journal, which is not canon but canon adjacent at best...), word of god (i.e stuff said by the writers and showrunners), or headcanon (which includes actor commentary-- they may have helped create the show with their acting choices and whatever, but they are not in control of the story overall). If there’s something you dislike about actual canon, you can reject it and supplement it with your own theories or preferred outcomes-- that’s basically what fanfic is-- but that doesn’t make your theories canon (much to all our dismay, that’s just not how any of this works. This is not to invalidate how anyone engages with the show or the fandom, just trying to clarify what seems to have been a source of unintentional misunderstandings. Your theories do not have to be “canon” to be legitimate interpretations.)

***I am setting this section apart, and did make a separate post of just this following information, because this is where we go from being relatively chill about different parts of fandom choosing to interact in different ways and you do you and blog however you want, to “hey can everybody please understand that the way you are interacting with this specific material might be harmful for specific legal reasons, and stating that you do not care about the consequences of your actions does actively make you the asshole here...” Okay, now that we have that understood:

The spnscripthunt collective has been steadily acquiring new scripts (which are posted in full on the superwiki for everyone to enjoy, for free). The language around how some folks are talking about these scripts is... concerning. For very real legal reasons, actually, and not because we’re feeling precious about the collection and don’t wike it when meanies use them in shitposts.

-First off, these scripts are not “leaks.” They are all verified and legally purchased (or gifted, in some cases, but still acquired entirely above board. we didn’t whack anyone over the head in a back alley for these scripts, or swipe them out of someone’s trailer on set).

(in case anyone was unaware, these scripts are the copywritten protected property of Warner Brothers. So yes, how we use them and share them with the fandom could have legal repercussions. We present them as a collected resource of fandom history which SHOULD fall under Fair Use doctrine, but this is untested legal water. Insinuating that the scripts are somehow not entirely legally obtained, or that posting them for public access involved less than 100% transparent and entirely legal transactions is incredibly concerning.

Once again for the peanut gallery, if you don’t care about any of that and are just having a good time with it, at least be mindful of the work and expense a large group of people have gone through to acquire and present the content you’re all too eager to exploit for cheap thrills. Some of us do actually care and are not exactly comfortable with the fact that others don’t seem to care about burning it all to the ground. We can’t force you to listen or behave as we’d hope you might, but at least be aware of the potential consequences of your actions. All we’re asking is for you to not be the douchebag who sets the whole neighborhood on fire with your illegal fireworks display. Is that too much to ask for? more on that in a second, first... a psa)

-If you see a script for sale and are unsure if it’s legit (or believe it might already be freely available in our collection), please feel free to ask us for advice. Our goal is to make as much of our fandom history available to the entire fandom, and we absolutely do not want anyone shelling out money for stuff you can already find for free.

(seriously, we’ve seen a bunch of resellers cropping up selling printed versions of the scripts we bought and uploaded for everyone to enjoy free of charge, or scripts that are otherwise of dubious origin. We’ve been at this for years now and know what’s actually out there. We don’t want anyone to fall for a scam if we can help it)

-Also, the usual reminder that the scripts we acquire ARE NOT NECESSARILY THE FINAL SHOOTING DRAFTS. In fact, the majority of scripts in our collection are NOT. Changes are made daily to scripts, even during filming. Comparing a Production Draft (white pages, effectively the first “final draft” of what usually becomes a series of drafts before filming wraps) to a much later revision (say... green or goldenrod revisions, several of which we DO have in our collection for comparison) and how those earlier drafts often differ wildly from the aired version versus how similar a much later green draft is to the aired version, for example, can teach you a lot about the television writing process. The link above to the superwiki scripts page has a nice little explainer about how this process works.

Differences between our posted scripts (many of which are white drafts, aka FIRST complete drafts, which will likely go through multiple rounds of revisions before filming even begins) and the aired version of the show are not all “acting choices” or a director or editor just cutting whole scenes on a whim. It’s insulting to everyone involved in production to suggest that’s the case.

(and yeah, fine... whatever, make any sort of posts you like regarding how those changes came about, but at the very least understand that it’s not actually the truth about how any of this works. Don’t care that that’s not the truth and want to make the posts anyway because shitposting is fun and that’s the extent of your sense of humor? FINE! You’re entitled to do that! But at least you DO know the truth now, and hopefully so do the people who engage with your posts. Deliberate ignorance isn’t cute, smooth lions notwithstanding)

There’s probably a whole other post to be made on fandom tagging etiquette, but again I don’t really use the tags enough to know what’s going on with that whole situation. I’ve also probably left a lot of stuff out, so please feel free to add things I’ve overlooked.

Thanks also to @trisscar368 and @thayerkerbasy for help compiling this, too. They were kind enough to escort me through the park to feed these pigeons. Now I need to take them out for ice cream. :’D

So I guess welcome to the neighborhood. Make yourself at home, but like... try not to trash the place while you’re here. Some of us live here by choice, lol.

#this blue hellsite (affectionate)#fandom problems #kinda wish i'd made this post six months ago but here we are i guess lol #long post #now edited for the people who are actually personally invested in the fandom #thanks for participating in this little experiment and I hope this version is actually informative to those who are interested #meaning there's a lot more links to stuff and explainers and whatnot...#and one last reminder that for folks just swinging through for laughs absolutely none of this applies to you #if you are legit interested in fandom history and preservation as we move to the post-canon world then hopefully this is useful to you

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soukokuwu · 4 years ago

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! urgent! Hello Rachel Can I request just an comfort cuddling in bed scenario with Dazai? I'm so done with everything at the moment Everything is too much, the work , the school I'm so stressed out. My best friend (TW self-harm & suicidal thoughts/attempt?) told me she cut her self again and swallowed like 15 tablets..... I wouldn't say that it triggers me anymore but I'm feeling so bad because I don't know how to help her. 😔

THE PERFECT ESCAPE. genre. fluff, just pure fluff synopsis. he strives to be everything you give to him. word count. 1.4k author notes. hi! i’m so sorry to hear that, i really hope that on your side that you can find comfort in this. my fluff isn’t too good but i do hope it makes you feel at least a little better. and i know the overwhelming feeling all too well, if you ever need to vent/talk my dms are open okay, anony? <3

favourite book in one hand with the other twirling in his own brown locks, he hums a tune he’s made up in his head while his eyes gloss over the page he’s flipped to. it’s a book he’s read countless times and he already has the whole thing memorised by now.

still, he’s addicted.

one other thing he’s addicted to?

your love.

it’s been on the back of his head for a while now — what makes him so attracted to you? it’s different with you. how is it that someone like you, who’s so simple to understand, so, in lack of better vocabulary, ‘layman’, manages to pique his interest? he thinks of it all the time. everyone is normal in his mind, with the exception of ability users, of course, but then, why is it that only you manage to retain his interest?

more often than not, you’re the only thing that remains a constant in his mind, occupying a permanent spot in every thought that crosses it.

it had taken a while, but how is it that you’ve managed to stop making him question how much he deserves every ounce of happiness you’ve bestowed upon him? sure, people might find dazai osamu a remarkable man, one they’d both fear yet crave as an ally. but the man in question finds you absolutely exceptional.

when he thinks of you he thinks of jovial footsteps skipping across the hardwood floors of your shared apartment. he thinks of cotton candy smiles accompanied with contagious laughter. he thinks of bright, alluring eyes brimming with determination. he associates you with the sun in winter, and how good the warmth feels against his skin. he associates you with the calm after the storm, the reward for every hardship he’s been put through.

which is why the moment he hears the keys jingling outside the door, his eyes shoot up, staring up ahead at nothing in particular; at the random dust motes floating through the air. something is off about the way you unlock the door. it’s you; there’s no question about it, he can hear the familiar click-clack of your heels as they uncharacteristically trudge in, any of their usual mirth missing.

and when he watches you pass through the bedroom doors, flinging your purse harshly against the dresser, he knows he’s right. something’s happened with you — he can usually tell at one glance what it is, but today the possibilities find themselves all jumbled up in his mind, like information overload.

oh, that must be it, isn’t it?

your habits are usually followed through each day, but not today. today you don’t even make an effort to get a change of clothes first before heading for the bed (where dazai’s usually already waiting before you get home). so now, dazai doesn’t let you slump down onto the bed. he catches you before you hit the mattress, allowing your head to find purchase on the comfort of his chest.

just like a switch, instead of overflowing determination, tears start spilling from your eyes, dissolving into the cotton of dazai’s plain white shirt; the one you got him as a moving-in-together present. he had felt bad about not getting you anything (he didn’t even think it was a custom to, which you agreed, but you had just felt like you wanted to give him something). it’s very soft and comfortable, which is why he wears it almost everyday.

soft and comfortable — just like you.

now he wants to be that for you. to be the warmth that you envelop and let yourself go in. the safety amongst unknowns and the shelter from the storms. it’s hard considering he’s typically known for being the exact opposite — the one who stirs trouble instead of soothing anyone from it. but for you he tries, because you’re the only one alive capable of making him want to bring out the good in himself.

but he knows better than to ask you about it, he knows it’ll just make you even more frustrated. besides, he’s smart enough to realise the ‘information overload’ he felt earlier is the catalyst for your mood. dazai always knows, and in this moment it is no exception. he can hear from your suppressed sniffles and the subtle clenching of your jaw that you’re trying to hold it in, trying not to cry so much. now this, he doesn’t understand why. do you not feel comfortable around him to let yourself go?

“cry as much as you need to, belladonna, i’ll be here for you, all the way.”

you’re receptive to it, as he can tell by the way you clutch on to his shirt tightly, your nails bound to leave crescent-shaped indentations on your palms. you continue to pour your emotions out through your eyes, with dazai patiently waiting, one arm round your back and the other pulling locks of your hair away from your face.

he never once thought that he would ever associate tear-stained cheeks and humid heat with perfect, but that’s what he thinks now. but no, that’s inaccurate. he thinks the crab dishes you make and the way the sun hits your face is also second to none.

“hey,” dazai calls out your name, planting a kiss upon your eyelids before flashing you a confident grin, “whatever it is, i know you’ve got this, okay?”

in comes your self-deprecating laugh, a sign of your inherent doubt in your own abilities, or rather, the lack thereof. “i just feel like i’m screwing everything up and that everything’s just piling one on top of the other and…”

dazai lets you ramble on, lets you get that weight off your chest. doesn’t interrupt you with pointless, empty sugar-coated consolations. instead he makes sure you tell him of every single thing that’s bothering you now (of your own volition, because he never forces you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with). and when you finally fall silent save for the sound of your heavy breathing, he knows that there is something that’s still stuck in the back of your head. something that surpasses the average problems that school and work proposes.

but he doesn’t press. instead, you find him baring his soul. a different kind of comfort, the most effective one in your book, and it’s still comfort all the same.

“i think, despite everything i’ve been through,” he lets his digits caress down from your temple to your chin, curving his index finger and tilting you upwards so he can look into your eyes as he tries to tell you of something important, “you’re one of the strongest people i’ve ever met.”

your mouth is slightly agape, as though you wanted to say something but you decide against it midway. dazai chuckles knowingly, “you know i’ll never say things i don’t mean, belladonna —” a peck on the lips, and he licks the saltiness away — “never to you.”

everyone can remind you of how strong you are, but none of them will ever carry the weight that dazai’s brings. with him you know he means it, you know he’s serious. because he never takes these things — or you, for that fact — lightly. and you can’t seem to think of how good you must have been in your life to deserve someone like him; someone who knows to be patient and makes you an exception although he’s not one to be known for doing so.

you feel special, wanted, significant.

and he doesn’t let up on it for the rest of the night. he leaves you for just a moment, so you take the chance to slip out into something more cosy. this means oversized sweaters and shorts. and you are pleasantly surprised when your boyfriend comes into the room armed with snacks and hot chocolate, which, in his head, represents a delectable heat to shelter through the storm.

he even has all your favourite movies and series lined up in a folder on your smart television, choosing one at random to start with while he lets you settle into his arms. all through the shows, he does subtle things like feed you a piece before feeding himself, and lightly squeezing your arm in a constant pattern (which you later learn on your own is morse for ‘i love you’). it’s in these little things that surprisingly touch you the most.

it’s in how he doesn’t — despite knowing many things — actually know how to be the least bit comforting yet he tries anyway, even to go so far as to act like he knows what he’s doing. it doesn’t escape your notice. you know that dazai osamu is many things; a suicidal maniac, a feared enemy, a questionable lover (to others but never to you). but one sure thing is, to you, he’s a perfect escape.

he’s perfect.

tags. @yokelish @gogolparadise @fyowyn-writes @smoochi-dazai @animatedarchives please ask me to be added/removed! <3

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vs-redemption · 4 years ago

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Crime is Common. Logic is Rare. (Ch.21)

Chapter Twenty-One: The New Serum (HawksxGN!Reader)

A/N: Hello readers! First of all, I wanted to say thank you to everyone who is still reading/following this story! We’re nearing the end now, and I only anticipate a few more chapters. (Famous last words) Also, I’m sorry for the lack of Hawks in this one, but hopefully you are enjoying everything happening with the mad doctor!

Plot summary: You thought your hands were full as a regular quirk geneticist, but then you meet Hawks and things get even more exciting!

Warnings:

⚠️This story contains spoilers from the manga.

⚠️Some events and plot points have been altered from the original manga

Tag List: @gayforkeigo @marshmallow-witch @redflannel @toyo-shiro @elsasshole @astronomyturtle @iambashfulperson

Next Chapter : Chapter Guide

“Don’t you feel guilty helping me when your boyfriend is a hero?” Shigaraki’s piercing red glare follows you as you move around the lab underneath Jaku Hospital, constantly keeping you on edge and fearful for your life. You hadn’t anticipated having him as a regular visitor after the first encounter, but thankfully you were getting better at keeping your composure in high stress situations. Over the past few days you’d run dozens of tests and simulations using Shigaraki’s blood, and you knew you were getting closer to the day when you’d actually have to do the real procedure on the villain. You weren’t sure which possible outcome of the experiment you feared worse.

If things went well and you managed to transfer All For One’s quirk, Shigaraki would be even more powerful than before. Would there even be anybody strong enough to take him down at that point? How many people would be hurt or killed thanks to your assistance? The other scenario was if the experiment failed and Shigaraki died or his DNA became too mutated for him to function normally. That would most likely get you a target on your back with the League of Villains. But, for all you knew, they might be planning to kill you just as soon as this was all over anyway.

“I’ve hardly seen my boyfriend in weeks, except in passing,” you respond to the villain as flatly as you can while gesturing for his arm so you could take another vial of his blood. You wished Dr. Garaki would get the samples for himself, but he was currently in the second lab doing status checks on all his terrifying high end nomus. “The hero commission has kept Hawks very busy lately.”

“The hero commission, huh?” Shigaraki narrows his eyes at you before thrusting out his arm. He hated all the poking and prodding you’d been doing to his body, but knew it was the only way for him to eventually get the ultimate power he so desperately craved. That didn’t stop him from whining and complaining like a child sometimes though. “A perfect example of why I hate heroes.”

“What do you mean?” You ask as you fill up a syringe with his blood. It thankfully only took a few seconds. The less direct contact you had with the villain the better.

“They spend all their time risking their lives for other people,” Shigaraki explains as you put a bandage over the spot on his arm where you’d poked him with the needle. He started scratching at the dry, flaking skin on his neck with the chipped nails of his free hand. You’d noticed him doing this whenever he got himself agitated over something. It was a disturbing habit that you wish he’d try to control. “None of the heroes give a second thought to how they’re neglecting their families and loved ones.”

“Hmm,” you ponder over his words as you prepare a sample of the doctor’s newest concoction that he hoped would seamlessly bind Shigaraki’s DNA with All For One’s. Using the deductions of your quirk, you’d decided to start playing around with polarity of the villain’s DNA molecules. The goal was to trick the nucleotides from the two samples into bonding together more cohesively even though they were naturally non-polar.

“Perhaps there’s some truth to that,” you admit calmly, wondering if he really cared about the families of heroes when he didn’t seem to have any issue with disintegrating entire cities full of people. “And let me tell you, as a scientist, I understand your desire to want everyone to fit into perfect categories that follow the same sets of rules. There are always going to be outliers though. Some people can fit comfortably into multiple categories while others, frustratingly, seem to be in a category of their own.” You pause in your ramblings to look back at the villain who was glaring at you with enough intensity to give you chills. You force yourself to let out a small laugh before turning back to the slides you were working on. “Even though I don’t see Hawks that often right now,” you shrug, “I think he’d be there for me if I really needed him.”

“Maybe you don’t know him as well as you think you do,” Shigaraki had an eerie smirk on his face and it was a relief to see that it seemed he had no clue about how much you actually did know.

“There are definitely secrets about myself I’m keeping from him,” you gesture between yourself and the villain to show your meaning, even though it was a lie. “So you’re probably right about that.”

Thankfully you weren’t forced to have any more small talk with Shigaraki because the doctor finally came back through the creepy hidden tunnel, looking more or less satisfied with the progress of his nomus. You knew he wished they’d move toward completion at a faster pace, but the way he was manipulating DNA was already unstable enough without trying to rush the process.

“Did you test the new serum?” he asks once he finishes locking up the secret entrance.

“Not yet,” you tell him. “I was just about to.” He comes over and watches you push the slide with Shigaraki’s blood underneath the nearest microscope before adding a small drop of the new serum to the sample. You activate your quirk and press your face against the eyepiece to observe the results in as much detail as possible. Slowly, you watched as the two DNA samples fused together. You were used to this part by now, even though it still blew your mind sometimes. The difference this time was that the merged chromosomes looked completely normal, unlike the bulky mutated ones that made up the nomus.

“I can’t believe it,” you mumble to yourself, both out of awe and fear.

“Did it work?” Shigaraki asks impatiently.

“Wait,” you shush him more aggressively than you probably should have, but the chromosomes on the slide had suddenly begun to dissolve and break apart. Before you could deliver that bad news, the broken DNA inexplicably began to reform. “Something is happening.” You continue watching for a moment as the chromosomes break and repair themselves in a constant loop. You back away from the microscope to look at the doctor, your mind already working to figure out the secret behind the phenomenon. “It worked… sort of.”

“What do you mean sort of?!” Shigaraki sounded annoyed but the doctor remained calm.

“What happened?” he asks.

“The samples blended perfectly this time,” you explain, “but it’s still unstable. The DNA is simultaneously destroying and repairing itself. Take a look.” The doctor pulls over a stool so that he can reach the microscope to peer into the lens. What he sees makes him smile and bounce on his feet with excitement. He backs away from the microscope and hops off the stool.

“I know exactly why this is happening,” Dr. Garaki was beaming. “Good news Shigaraki! I don’t think you’ll have to wait much longer now.”

As usual, you had a lot of objections, but it was pointless to try and talk him into slowing down. Shigaraki wanted his power as soon as possible, and the doctor wasn’t going to make him wait any longer than absolutely necessary. Even if it was dangerous to use the leader of the villains as the first test subject, you knew they would do it anyway.

“It’s because the DNA was able to fuse perfectly,” the doctor turns his attention to you, “All For One’s regeneration quirk must have been activated. I anticipate that this sample will continue to try and fix itself until it finds a way to stabilize.”

The mere possibility of that being true astonished you. If the doctor wasn’t a madman who planned to turn an already dangerous villain into an unstoppable force of evil, he could do so much good with the discovery you both had just made. There were so many people who suffered with self-destructive quirks that would benefit from a serum like this. You wondered if Shigaraki’s skin problems would be alleviated after the procedure.

With a regenerating serum, so many exciting possibilities had just opened up. It was just too bad that you were stuck in such a messed up situation. You’d told the doctor that you weren’t going to judge him for helping the League of Vilains with the information you gathered, but you hadn’t expected him to have you work with Shigaraki directly. It worried you that you would be forced to go through with this insane idea soon. The silver lining was that, like the nomus, Shigaraki’s procedure would probably take quite a while to complete. You had no idea exactly how long it would take for All For One’s DNA to integrate with Shigaraki’s completely, but you had to imagine rewiring someone’s genes took time. It most likely was going to be excruciating for the villain as well. You wondered if he’d even survive if his DNA was going to be destroying and repairing itself over and over again.

“What are you thinking?” Dr. Garaki’s question pulls you out of your thoughts.

“I’m thinking we can check on the progress of this sample tomorrow,” you tell him almost robotically. You couldn’t let the implications of what you were doing affect you now. You had to continue to play the morally neutral scientist. “We can try to calculate the rate of repair to see if the regeneration is even working the way you think it is. Once we know that much, we’ll probably be able to predict just how long the procedure will take to complete.”

“Good idea!” the doctor claps his hands once. “Let’s start recording as much data as we can now with your quirk so we can come up with an accurate timeline later.”

The two of you set to work while Shigaraki watches and complains about there being nothing to do. You envied him of having the luxury of his biggest concern at the moment being his boredom. There were so many worries occupying your mind at present that being bored was far from being possible. You were already dreading having to inform Hawks of everything that had happened that day. If the Hero Commission didn’t find a way to put a stop to the villains before Shigaraki’s procedure was completed, there would be no limit to the amount of destruction he’d be able to cause.

#hawks x reader #keigo takami x reader #bnha x reader #mha x reader #Hawks #Keigo Takami #BNHA #MHA #Boku no hero academia #My hero academia #Cindy's Writing

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merakiaes · 5 years ago

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hi, as you already know, one of your myriads of fans here. so i was wondering what would be steps to take, in your opinion, to start writing imagines/fanfics? Reading your stories makes me wanna take part in this amazing creative world, but i have no idea where to start:) i have some ideas to write, but what would be the things to consider? thank you and much respect and love♡

Oh, wow, that’s a tough question😂 I don’t think there’s anything to do other than just start🤷🏻‍♀️ You have to get your work out there and awaken the interest in order to get followers and more requests, so you should definitely go for it and write the ideas you have. There are things that make one-shots more appealing though so I’m going to try to list them down below.

- Having a nice aesthetic is probably the most important part to ME as a reader. If the post looks messy, chances are high that I won’t read it, no matter how good the fic actually is😅 A nice aesthetic can include a neat foreword section, like I write “pairing”, “requested”, “prompts”, “warnings/notes”, “wordcount” and “summary” before every fic, for example. It gives the post a certain structure. Using a gif of the character you’re writing for is also really important in my opinion. It makes it look more structured, aesthetically pleasing, and inviting. ALWAYS remember to credit the gif-owner if you know who they are, though.

- Paragraphing is BY FAR the most important thing, and that’s just when it comes to writing in general. Some people might not care but I know many people, me included, who just turn back around and go “nope” at the sight of a fic/one-shot where there is no paragraphing. It gives off a very messy vibe and makes my head hurt seeing as you have to concentrate a lot because it’s so hard to keep track of where you are in the text. I know things like that aren’t easy at the beginning for some, it wasn’t for me either, but it’s something that needs to be said so that people know what to practice.

- Insert the “read more” link after a few paragraphs so that your one-shot doesn’t take up the entire searching feed. There will be lots of people who will want to read your fic but there will also always be people who aren’t tempted and in cases like that, it’s annoying to have to scroll for your life to get to the next one.

- TAGS are the most important thing because it’s them that are going to get you promoted in the first place. Some people search for “imagine” while others search for “x reader” so I always make sure to tag the character’s every name/nickname with both “imagine”, “x reader”, “one-shot” and “fanfic” to really get my fic out there, and also the show’s name with all of the above. To further understand what I mean, check out the tags on one of my fics. DON’T tag characters that are not included in the fics with the “imagine”, “x reader” and “one-shot” tags. You’ll get a lot of haters real quick.

- Write in a word document on your computer, NOT directly on Tumblr. I’ve lost count of how many times I wrote oneshots directly on my Tumblr only to accidentally reload the page and lose everything and have to write it all again. It’s really heartbreaking when it happens and it is so time-consuming and not worth the risk.

- Not a must, but I find it easier to put out longer, more filled-out fics by writing the dialogue first and then filling in time and place, etc. If you ever find yourself with writer’s block, try this!

- Also not a must, but I find that this has helped me A LOT on Tumblr. Download the plugin “Grammarly” from www.grammarly.com. The free version doesn’t allow you all properties but it does provide you with the most important one; spelling and grammar correction. I’ve used the free version for the past 6 months now and it’s a great help when you don’t have time to fully and carefully read through your fics. Sometimes it will show the wrong things though so keep an eye out for that. It doesn’t fix all mistakes but it usually takes care of the bigger ones.

- I don’t know how you work as a person but I, myself, get really stressed out if I answer the requests, promising to write them, BEFORE I write them. Knowing that I’ve made a promise and that someone is waiting for me to post their request really pressures me and gives me unnecessary stress. To avoid this, I usually answer the request AFTER I’ve posted the one-shot. That way, I can also link the one-shot in the request so that the requestor, if anonymous, can easier find their way back.

On My Block is a fandom that’s pretty active now after Season 3 so I have no doubt in my mind that you could get requests immediately if you posted a post saying that you’re open for requests. Just specify which characters you’ll be writing for and tag all of said characters with the tags I mentioned above and I guarantee you that you’ll get requests.

If you ever decide to write for other fandoms too, it’s important to remember not to get discouraged when you don’t get much feedback on fics that are in smaller, less popular fandoms. For example, I’ve written a few one-shots for the tv-show Grimm and that’s an extremely small fandom so as you can guess, I didn’t get much acknowledgment for it. It will, naturally, be discouraging seeing as a lot of thought and time is put into the fics, but at the same time it’s only logical.

It’s also important that you know that it’s okay to set boundaries. As a fanfic writer, you provide people with alternate endings and scenarios to their favorite shows, you take time out of your spare time and put a lot of thought and energy to give them entertainment pretty much on demand and for free. Some people don’t understand that fanfiction is a privilege and not a right and will get really whiny/grumpy about the fact that you might be taking a long time to post their request. In that kind of scenario, you have the right to put down your foot and tell them off. It doesn’t make you a bad guy but rather on the contrary, you speak and stand up for all fanfic writers.

While we’re speaking of boundaries, it’s also completely fine that you make a little disclaimer saying that you would appreciate more feedback if you notice that you’re not getting any. The number of likes and reblogs/comments are always going to be uneven but sometimes readers need a little reminder that comments are appreciated, and asking for them doesn’t make you a bad person or anything like that. It’s only natural to want to get acknowledged for your art and if you ever feel like you’re not getting the attention that you deserve, point it out. Fanfic readers are really understanding and appreciative, sometimes they just forget to leave behind a comment <3

I make the mistake really often to force myself into writing even though I shouldn’t. For example, I could have a headache, be sick, tired, or just not feel like it and not have inspiration/motivation to do it. I tend to push myself into writing despite all this and take my word for it that you shouldn’t. I put waaaay too much pressure on myself and by doing that, I usually tend to grow tired of fandoms real quick so that I get left with a lot of unfinished requests that I in any other case would have loved to write, which sucks.

So don’t push yourself. If you don’t feel like writing, don’t. If writing starts feeling more like a burden and a job than a joyful experience, you’re doing it wrong.

There will also be requests that you simply don’t feel interested in, and at those times it’s really important to remember that you have no obligation to write them and that it’s alright to delete them/say no. Again, writing things that you don’t want to will make it feel like a burden and that’s not how it’s supposed to be. Writing is always supposed to feel fun and good, or you’ll burn yourself out pretty quickly.

Every writer has their proud moments and their less proud moments. If you write a fic that you’re really happy and proud of, brag about it! Lift yourself up and other people will jump on the train! And if, in a worst-case scenario, you don’t feel happy with the outcome at all, it’s okay. We all have fics that we love and hate, but just know that from a reader’s perspective, everything you do and put out is going to be greatly appreciated.

Every writer starts off somewhere so don’t be too discouraged if it goes slowly to a start. I hope my pointers are to some help even though I mostly rambled about pointless stuff😂 If you ever need help with anything or if you have more questions, my inbox is always open. I look forward to reading what you have planned, good luck!💕

#ask #advice

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titconao3 · 5 years ago

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Fanfic Meme

Tagged by @beguilewritesstuff , under cut because it’s long and rambly and probably of interest to, uh.

Copy/paste and bold your fic preferences because why not, gotta choose one (near impossible, but go with your first gut instinct), and tag someone because, again, why not.

Well, i have no gut instinct; this is starting well ;-)

Slow burn or love at first sight TBH i don’t understand love at first sight, i need help to believe in twu wuv ;-)

Fake dating or secret dating both have potential for angst then happy resolution, i guess! Picking secret dating because i’m not fond of some of the tropes that can go with fake dating, but i’ve definitely read some great ones. Secret dating because of Circumstances (DADT was a big one in SGA; all that ANGST) can be cool too.

Enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers *insert both? yes both gif*

Oh no there’s only one bed or long distance correspondence i hate it when “only one bed” turns into “we can’t hold it in and we are SO horny oh dear” Accidental cuddles, sure! Awkwardness, yes! (COLD FEET) but when it’s about making it all about teh smut, well. i’m bored by smut, so... As for correspondence, er. Why not? i guess?

Hurt/comfort or amnesia always, always h/c. Amnesia can definitely be the hurt if need be :D

Fantasy AU or modern AU preferably no AU

Mutual pining or domestic bliss i’m easy. Sometimes.

Smut or fluff fluff is good, as long as it’s not taken to mean ‘and then they got married and had children isn’t that LOVELY’ smut... rarely works for me. i often find it boring, and sometimes hilarious when it’s just, uh, let’s go with weird mechanics or strange word choices. A lot of the time it feels (to me) pointless and like it doesn’t particularly bring anything (unless one is into these things, which i’m not) to the story. & yes, i’ve written sexy times and probably will again and yes, a few times in the past i did it because i felt it was Expected (shame on me).

Canon-compliant (missing scenes) or fix-it i am not much into missing scenes (i often don’t see the point) but i don’t like fics that say “look this sucks / the show sucks / i’m much better than the show writers etc and shall write the BETTER version,” which i’ve seen some people describe as fix-its. However, if by fix-it you mean, i’ll take the canon and find ways to make it make sense / solve the issues, plot-holes, character wierdness etc i’m all for it. As a rule, i’m more into a Watsonian, in-universe explanation than Doylesque meta. i’ve seen it turn too often into “the original material is BAD and i’ll tell you about the many ways in which i would do better / am so woke / etc.” Basically, if all i feel is dislike of the original material (which has sometimes been the case in my fannish experience), then why stay? is trashing something to people who do enjoy it (even while they can be aware of faults) an actual pleasure? So if fix-it means, X isn’t dead because *tadam* or Z’s strange behaviour was because *jazz hands* then, yes. If it’s writing a parallel AU out of spite, then it’s absolutely not for me. (AU not out of spite are cool, just rarely my thing) Of course, some fandoms allow more leeway with AUs, parallel realities etc which can be canon (or because canon is an AU of itself *coughcough* comics); but not all. It’s just not really my jam.

Alternate universe or future fic i generally don’t like AU, i like the universe of the show / book i’m into and i usually prefer to stick to it.

One-shot or multichapter a very long finished fic ;-)

Kid fic or road trip fic i don’t like kids ;-)

Reincarnation or character death Preferably neither.

Arranged marriage or accidental marriage i’ll read it if there are other tags that sound interesting or if it’s by an author whose work i’ve enjoyed before; otherwise... XXX marriage isn’t drawing me in.

High school romance or middle-aged romance High school stuff in an America-based canon, i hope ;-) but, uh. Not a great stage in life as far as i remember, and really the people you know in high school will remain your steadfast friends forever almost only in fiction, so uh... idk, i really can’t relate.

Time travel or isolated together Uuum... time travel can skirt too close to AU for my taste, i’d say; but in some fandoms it makes sense. Isolated works in all fandoms ;-)

Neighbours or roommates Both are great scenarios to get to know each other! (but i hated my roommate experience and was very lucky it was only for a few months, egads, not for me).

Sci-fi AU or magic AU still no AU ;-)

Body swap or genderbend not into those, although if i HAVE to maybe body swap? but really, the ANGST

Angst or crack as long as it ends in a not-depressing way, angst.

Apocalyptic or mundane Provided i don’t get a depressing ending, i’m in.

Tag yourself if you’d like to do it!

#tagging game

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steviesays · 7 years ago

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In depth analysis of Solo: a Star Wars Story

wow that title makes it look like this wasn’t just me rambling for 4 whole ass pages on word, but I wanted to give you guys all of my thoughts and reactions on the movie. All of the spoilers are going to be under the cut and I’ll continue to tag spoilers for solo for the next two weeks, so until JUNE 8TH so none of you are allowed to yell at me for spoiling the movie.

alright yall here we go im going to start with the plot and move into the characters the same way I did for tlj.

After coming out of this movie, it took me the entire ride home to process and think about whether I even liked it or not. When I got home, I had a two hour long conversation with my brother on the purpose of all of these movies rather than on what the movie is about because hes a fake fan and didn’t go see it last night. But anyway, after giving a brief synopsis with as little spoilers as possible, we kind of came to the consensus that this movie didn’t really matter, plot wise. It was kind of just made to sell tickets (even though they didn’t even sell tickets because there was no promo). Literally the whole movie was just an adventure that Han Solo went on, there was no real character arc, Han was the same person he was at the end as he was at the beginning, the only real development was him meeting chewie and lando and getting the millennium falcon. Did we really HAVE to see the kessel run, like yeah it was cool, but having the whole movie based around that? I feel like we were all kind of expecting more of a backstory, which is what it was kind of advertised as, and I think it would have been more effective, at least from a fan perspective, to have seen what Han’s life was when he was a child on Correlia. We still have no information on his parents, except for his dad was apparently a mechanic that wanted to be a pilot. We don’t know how he became orphaned or how he ended up with that fucking lizard monster thing, how he met Qi’ra, or how any of this affected him. I think they just started the movie at a bad spot, but that decision was made to maximize profit. I guess no casual movie goer would want to see han solo roughing it through some angst, but for people that are fully invested in star wars? It was just kind of a pointless action movie.

Other than that, it was a decent movie overall. I didn’t walk out of it pissed like I did with tlj, it kind of just made me feel nothing. Like I knew all this shit before, I didn’t need to see it in a two hour film. Him meeting chewie and lando, getting the falcon and doing the kessel run in 12 parsecs were things that were already established. There was nothing really spectacular about this movie it kind of just exists as a plot extender, rather than something that moves the plot forward or gives us major insights. I guess they can get away with it being useful to plot by the scene at the end that establishes to everyone that Darth Maul is still alive and fucking up the galaxy, but they could have just made their own damn darth maul movie, which is probably coming anyway based on that scene.

But now that I’ve dragged the movie enough, lets get into the characters because I have a lot to say. There were characters that I really liked, characters that had a lot of potential, and characters that I hated.

Lets start with han. I really liked him in this movie and I like the actor they got for him, I think he did a really great job showing han’s snark and egoism while also keeping his inner goodness and making sure the audience was sympathetic. As I said before, he didn’t really develop much as a character, he was born a scoundrel and stayed that way. His quest to do whatever he could to get home so he could save Qi’ra was something we all would have expected out of him. I did like that we were able to see his street smarts and ability to strategize more than we have in other movies. I guess we have a bit of development, in that he learns to be even less trusting than he already was at the beginning through all of the betrayals in the movie, but like …. He was already distrustful in the beginning from the life he had already lived. Also, this has nothing to do with what I was just saying but I just remembered, this is during the time of the empire. Didn’t the empire use cloned Stormtroopers as their infantry and navy with humans only being officers …………………… like correct me if im wrong, but im like 90% sure that’s right. Because the first order were the ones that used human Stormtroopers. And even so like, what are these infantry men even doing. Aren’t Stormtroopers the ones that have always invaded planets for the empire, these people weren’t wearing any type of armor or cohesive uniforms and I just remember being confused as fuck during this whole sequence. In a ‘this is a major plot hole’ kind of way. Were they running out of clones ?????? like just make more ???????????? like the whole reason they used clones was because using actual humans to do grunt work was barbaric and clones aren’t really seen as people. Also now that I’m thinking about it what happened to all of the clones once the war ended. I haven’t watched or read many of the side stories or books, so I don’t know if it’s just me that’s missing something, but idk having han join the empire as an infantryman just didn’t make sense to me. Also having an imperial officer be the one to give him his last name was just kind of yikes. Like they couldn’t have just had him come up with one himself in that moment. Whatever.

Now lets talk about Qi’ra aka fake bitch. I fucking hated her so much through this entire movie and not just because I called her fake leia in the lead up to it coming out (tell me han doesn’t have a type). Like what the hell honestly. She was the WORST. And its kind of sad because she really had the potential to be a better character, but it just did not happen. Like she was gone for three years and just happened to appear back at some sketch party? And the only explanation for it was “yeah ive been through some shit don’t ask.” And what killed me is that she just never fucking explained!!! Like han asked her multiple times to tell him what happened in the in-between time and they have this whole ass history, he was doing all this shit FOR YOU, and he doesn’t even get an explanation ???? at the very least give the viewers an explanation. Like I guess it was implied that she did some dark shit, slept her way to the top, killed a few people on the way there, but HOW ??? WHY ??? WHEN ???? how long has she been involved in this shit to be at the position she has and to be so changed by it? Her character was the one that changed the most, from being careful of people other than the one she trusted (han), but still having hope for a better life, to just being like fuck everyone, I’m here for me and I don’t care how many people I have to kill or betray to survive. But we never got that character development in the film so she just came off as a terrible human being. We never got the chance to be sympathetic for her, and tbh im about to get even more angry because this whole film was centered around M E N yes I said it im being that bitch right now because the women in this movie were paid DUST.

And on that note lets talk about fucking Val. Another character with so much potential that was just …………………. hnjdklsbckdsbcbsdlv. She was the literal embodiment of the angry black woman trope and it pissed me the fuck off. She was the one that refused to bend on bringing han into the group and continued to antagonize him the whole mission, which the audience obviously took as a damn joke because duh its han fucking solo. We all know that she’s wrong, but when everyone else jumped on board with han she stayed adamant in her position, making her the odd one out of the group. Every time she opened her damn mouth I got mad because she just kept putting han and chewie down and it was just so cringey because I knew that this would make her either a hated or a forgotten character. AND THEN SHE JUST FUCKING DIED. I was like oh ok, 20 minutes in and the whole squad is dead already god damn. Which brings me into my analysis of tobias.

I love woody harrelson and he did a great job but there were a few scenes that just annoyed me, one of them being after his squad dies. Like hes sad for like 5 seconds, punches han which is an understandable reaction considering the fact that it was his fault everyone died for no reason, and then hes just fine again? Like it was never brought up again that two people he was obviously very close to, especially Val, just died pointless deaths. Even the night before the mission he was like ‘yeah you got to get someone you can trust I got my girl val’ and then they kiss and im like oh ok theyre in love that’s cute we love representation of interracial couples, but then she dies and he never mentions her name again. He doesn’t even grieve for longer than 2 minutes ??? he gives han another chance even though this was 100000% his fault and everyone knows it ??? it was kind of like oh, ok why the fuck did we even do that, why did I have to watch all of this happen if there are no consequences. His character didn’t change at all throughout the movie either. He’s just as distrustful and self-centered as he was, he just has less friends now and he’s dead. He was a good fatherly/mentor-y figure for han throughout the movie, but that’s about it.

I don’t really have much to say about Lando other than the fact that Donald glover did a great job, but I really didn’t expect much else. B U T last week I reblogged a post about him confirming that lando was pan and in the tags I was like lol watch him still be in a het relationship and GUESS FUCKING WHAT. Like its as if they thought making him be in love with a robot that has a female voice, a female build, and people that address her with she/her pronouns would be enough for people to be like come on it’s a fucking robot they don’t have gender …. hsdakbckdsla and while we’re on this subject lets talk about L3 because her (it? I don’t even know) character probably made me the most angry while watching the movie.

L3 being like an advocate for droids was an obvious parallel to other civil rights movements like womens rights or even African American rights and the way it was handled made me so fucking angry. Everything the droid said was used as comic relief or made to be received as a joke because obviously shes talking about fucking robots. But honestly, let me get deep for a moment here, droids in the star wars universe ARE sentient. They have minds of their own and are put into the story like characters, but theyre treated as lesser because theyre not made of flesh and blood. I understand and identify with the things L3 was saying because she’s right, but through the whole movie it was made to be a joke, because you know droids don’t need rights theyre droids. But that was the same thing people in the fucking 60s were saying about black people we’re ‘just n******’ (im sorry I cant even type the word it makes me uncomfortable). And her revolutionary spirit mirrors that of women’s rights revolutionaries today. Being a black woman that’s involved in social justice in America, the characterization of L3 just made me upset because everyone was treating everything she said as a joke, and there was no rectification of it. After L3 died, there was no ‘hmmm maybe she was right maybe we should start thinking of droids more as people’ she was another wasted character whose only use was her navigation system when they could have taken a completely different route and addressed something that was actually wrong with the star wars universe rather than just enforcing it. And when she started to give the droids a mind of their own in the control room I knew it was going to dissolve into chaos and make a horrible situation because it was such a predictable moment that completely undermined social justice actions and it pissed me off.

I guess the plot twist that effys nest (is that how you spell her name? probably not it doesn’t really matter) and her squad were working with the revolution was cute. I deadass thought for a second she was gonna be like ‘what up tobias or should I call you DAD’ cause that would have been a 100% star wars thing to do. The bad guy was a generic bad guy so I really don’t have much to say about him. I loved the scenes between han and chewie which showed why they became so close.

This is really all I have to say about solo for know, nothing huge is coming to mind. Overall, it was a good movie if you’re not a fan, but kind of a wasted opportunity for everyone else. This movie had a lot of potential to deliver and im pretty disappointed that it didn’t. If you don't agree on anything I’ve said or you just want to talk about the movie with me PLEASE dont hesitate to slide into my dms I love discourse

#solo #solo spoilers #solo analysis #sorry you had to read my word vomit I needed it to be out in the world #this was 2300 WORDS #and I got a b in my film class this semester lmfaooo #If we were talking about Star Wars it would have been lit

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logically-asexual · 7 years ago

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Could you do 14? Logicality

(This wasn’t probably that you were expecting, anon, I’m sorry, but I had a bad day and I needed to let it out… maybe I can write a part two with the happy ending? idk if you want me to let me know)

Warnings, angst, self doubt (tell me if I should tag anything else). High school AU because I live for them.

“Just please be my best friend right now, not the guyI just confessed my love to”

It was a bad day, there was nothing else to be said.Logan was trying to distract himself of the negative thoughts in his head. He didn’twant to let his thoughts be biased by the anger he was feeling. As he walkedout of the school psychologist’s office, he focused on each step he tooktowards the cafeteria. He hadn’t eaten anything all day, so, logically, thephysical need contributed to his irritation.

However, even after eating and resting his mindmeditating, the feeling of displeasure was still there. Logan didn’t knowexactly why these emotions were generating or who they were directed to.Himself? The Psychologist? The teacher that forced him to go to counseling inthe first place? Everyone? No one? That’s why he hates emotions so much,they’re impossible to understand.

But the only thing that he hated more than hisemotions, was having someone else trying to analyze them. He was just a normalstudent, what was the big deal? Yes, his grades had plummeted significantlysince last year but that didn’t mean anything. Just the fact that he hadrealized how pointless is to be obligated to partake in this stupid schoolsystem that does nothing else than break young children’s minds-

Logan silenced his brain for a second while he took adeep breath. This was the fifth time in a row he had caught himself loosingcoherence in his thinking. He was getting increasingly anxious and stressed,and there was nothing left to try in his list of calming techniques. Well,there was one thing left. Or, actually, one person.

Patton had been Logan’s best and only friend for yearsnow. He was the only person that he could trust with his emotional struggles.Although the situation only one-sided, since Patton had many friends and he wasopen about his feelings with all of them. Logan had always admired hisemotional intelligence, and how he always managed to bring him back to earthafter days like this one. However, this happened only if Patton found him inthat situation, because Logan would never ask him for help, since he wouldalways assume the other was busy with a more important activity.

Even if the other boy was the only one he felt hecould rely on, Logan had been avoiding him more than usual, again because ofthe annoying emotions he couldn’t control. Logan had thought that thesesymptoms, similar to those of one that is “falling in love”, that he waspresenting were only cause of his mental dependence of Patton, so maybe if heseparated himself, the effects would go away. That, of course, didn’t happen,and now he was stuck between constantly needing Patton’s help, but never askingfor it. Logan’s situation was pitiful, really. Patton had a boyfriend, as faras Logan knew. He had many friends and, compared to them, he barely spoke tohim. Patton was the nicest person Logan knew, he considered him his best friendsince he was the only one. But, for Patton? He was probably no more than theguy that lived in an ongoing identity or existential crisis. It was certainlysad, just every aspect about Logan’s life.

A few hours after leaving the counseling office, Loganwas still lost in his personal reflection and missed more than one class. Hewas sitting in one of the far corners of the library, his favorite place tohide away from his thoughts. He wasn’t surprised when Patton was standing infront of him at the end of the school day, he must have noticed his absence tothe classes they shared. Logan suddenly became aware of the tears across hisface, but kept his expression stoic. That way Patton would get the message thathe wasn’t in the mood to have a conversation.

He, instead, hid his pace between his arms and startedmumbling every idea that crossed his mind. This was a technique Patton hadtaught him, it helped him to release the pressure and feel freer. Meanwhile theother student sit by his side and stroke his back steadily, encouraging him tocontinue. This time, instead of calming down, his rambling became graduallymore angry and desperate, uttering anything that crossed his mind. He can nowremember everything he said, but in that moment he had no consciousness aboutthe words that left his mouth.

At one point, Logan was almost shouting. “- I am just…pathetic. I thought I was better than others for being the smart one at schoolbut now… now I can’t even bring myself to do one of the assignments I haveaccumulated and there’s nothing left of me. Without the good grades I- I amnothing, I am no one. I have no rational excuse or any logical reason to belike this, other than this cursed emotions that make even less sense. And ontop of it all, I have to deal with this apparent and nonsensical love for theonly person I talk to. I don’t even understand love, so why now? Why for you? Ican’t do anything about it and- and- What am I supposed to do? I-“

Logan continued his speech without noticing the weightof what he had just said. He didn’t see the puzzled expression in Patton’s facewhile he was processing his words.

After that peak, the energy of his speaking decreaseduntil he was just a crying mess once more. When he was breathing evenly again,he lifted his head and looked around him, only to notice Patton had left atsome point. He didn’t even realized when the hand on his back had disappeared.Now that he was calmed enough, he tried to remember what he had said to makethe other leave him there. His eyeswidened and his heart rate rose when the words became clear in his memory. Hequickly grabbed his phone and looked for Patton’s contact.

“Patton.”

“Patton, please answer me.”

…

Logan’s dependence of the other boy was ridiculous andunproductive, but up to this extreme he had no other hope. He was worth noting,but without Patton he felt even less. He wouldn’t make it without him.

“Just please be my best friend right now, not the guyI just confessed my love to”

Pathetic.

“Bestfriend?” He asked himself, “Hedoesn’t even consider you his friend, you’re barely a person, and the onlything he feels for you is pity.”

The voice in his head was right, why did he even try? Therewas one objective truth, and it was that he would stay alone the rest of hislife. He never wanted Patton to reciprocate his feelings, he just neededanother living being to trust. And now he had lost that, too.

“Pat?”

…

“Read. 15:42”

#Luna's fanfic

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asleepinawell · 8 years ago

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Can you finish your thoughts on Shaw/Root/TM from the tags on that gifset? Please???? :)

y’all should know better than to encourage me to ramble about things. i have zero concept of being brief or concise. so here you go.

This is an expansion of some meta i wrote in some tags about Root’s character development as pertaining to her relationship with the Machine and Shaw. So I don’t have to repeat it every other sentence, a lot of this is headcanon…as in my opinions…you’re completely allowed to disagree and have your own headcanon, that’s the beauty of fandom:

As a kid, Root was already a smug little computer whiz before Hanna got killed, if not already a hacker then definitely heading down that path. Root’s always been arrogant and I imagine she thought she was too good for the horrible little town she was stuck in. On top of that there was whatever situation was going on with her mother…that’s open to interpretation of course, but it was said that she hung out in the library to avoid going home. Hanna and computers were the best things Root had going on in her life. Computers were easier to understand and deal with than humans and let her enact a measure of control over something in a world where she felt trapped and not in control. Especially after Hanna died.

I think root already liked bending and breaking the rules, feeling superior to people who didn’t, but when all the rules of the ‘civilized’ world failed her the night Hanna was taken she realized that rules only applied to you if you let them. Rules weren’t real. They were part of humans’ bad code and a thing to be exploited. Computers, of course, do have rules and logic that they can’t disobey. If a computer isn’t doing what it’s supposed to do than somewhere along the line a human messed up…either wrote bad code or made bad hardware, etc. The universe and humans and emotions are a giant chaotic mess without rhyme or reason, but computers are perfect, logical.

The thing about Root though is she very much is human and has so many of the traits she sees as flaws…I think that’s part of the reason for her wildly shifting self-value. She has an enormous emotional capacity that she’s struggled to keep in check and funneled only into anger for most of her life, so when her emotions do come out it’s like opening a floodgate. But before the Machine and Shaw she compartmentalized all of that, locked it away, didn’t allow herself to feel anything she considered weak. She cared about Hanna and then she lost her and that hurt horribly. Therefore, in Root logic, if she doesn’t care about people, she can’t get hurt. One of the reasons her emotions and mannerisms often come off as over the top and child-like is because she never allowed herself to learn to regulate them.

Then the Machine enters the picture. One of the many things Root’s been locking away is loneliness. I think from later seasons it’s fairly apparent that she’s a deeply lonely person even if she spent most of her life writing that off as a weakness. But if humans are bad code and weak than she can never really allow herself to care about them or let them in. But the Machine isn’t human. She sees the Machine not only as an inherently more worthy form of life, but as someone she can finally allow herself to care for.

Root’s face lights up whenever the Machine talks to her and that’s definitely partly her deification of her, but it’s also because she loves her, as a god and the friend she always wanted. When she doesn’t find TM at the end of God Mode it completely breaks her and she shuts down and goes away inside her head because she’s lost something again and it hurts horribly and she doesn’t know how to deal with that. And when the Machine chooses to talk to her it’s everything she’d always hoped for.

But the Machine isn’t exactly what she’d imagined. TM won’t let her kill and sets her up to help save humanity. Root starts out being somewhat amused but indulgent of the no kill rule (’even this guy?’), and probably doesn’t mind the saving humanity bit since she sees it as the Machine helping to make humanity better and also gives her a feeling of importance…because TM values her enough to ask her to do this.

Around this time, Shaw becomes another factor in Root’s life. I don’t see Root as having had any real meaningful relationships in her life, and I don’t think she immediately falls head over heels for Shaw…instant chemistry, yes..instant love, no. I do think TM sees potential there though either before or during Mors Praematura. At that point Root cares about what the Machine thinks/wants and won’t kill people because she cares about TM’s wishes, but she still doesn’t care about people. Perhaps TM saw Shaw as a person Root could care about. Also, even though this is a meta post about Root I’d like to say that TM probably also thought Root would be good for Shaw…it was never just about one or the other of them; it was always about both of them together.

Fast forward to Aletheia. Shaw goes back to look for Root. I’ve probably mentioned this in a ton of other posts but I strongly believe that was the first time someone had done something like that for her (the end of mors praematura doesn’t exactly count). It was an indication that a human cared for her and for once she doesn’t see that as a negative or a thing to be exploited.

That brings us to the episode I wrote the original meta tags about…Root Path. The whole episode is TM smacking her in the head to try and explain that her actions have cascading consequences and end up hurting multiple people. This isn’t something Root has generally thought about or given a shit about before, but TM is telling her and she loves TM and doesn’t want to disappoint her. Her whole ‘how badly did you have to break it’ speech is about her not understanding how a being that was supposed to be above human weaknesses is telling her that humans are important. And while TM can drill this into her head over and over it doesn’t click until she realizes she’s fallen for Shaw. I think that the end of root path is when she starts accepting that.

Root needed both of TM and Shaw to get where she ended up. I don’t think she ever genuinely likes people, and she continues to treat most people in a condescending fashion, but she can’t make the sweeping generalization that humans == bad code now because Shaw isn’t bad code so that statement is no longer always true. And that opens up a lot of possibilities. TM got Root to a point where she could admit to care for another human and Shaw was the human she could care for and who cared for her. All three of them are very much tied up on each other’s character arcs which is one of the reasons I thought it was such a shame we never got to see Shaw and TM interact over the course of the story.

One last comment…I’ve seen discussions of whether Shaw or TM is more important to Root and I personally don’t find this a useful question to ask. Both of them are so damn integral to her life that she’s devastated at the idea of losing either. They are both immeasurably important to her and being forced to put a value on one over the other would be deeply upsetting for her and ultimately pointless. It is possible to have more than one thing that you care for without it lessening the importance of either.

Hope that was what you were after, anon!

#person of interest #poi meta #shoot #mp #asks #anonymous #long post #poi

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